Platinum Essence
by Greenlies
Summary: Pia just wants to make Gaius enjoys her bath essence, but the squid-fest is not an option. Pia/Gaius CRACK


Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own brain...

Warning: total crack! I'm doing it on purpose okay..? English is my 2nd language. It's from Pia's point of view... So watch out for the fishy talk.

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><p><strong>Platinum Essence<strong>

**...AIUEO...**

"Today's bath is... Squidy Ballroom!"

"Huh...? Pi-Pia?" The guy with pitch black hair hung his mouth open. That kind of reaction just made ma a little bit... Sad

"You don't like it?" I replied with my pleading eyes.

I thought I was turning on his panic button just now, he looked so panic, like an eel in the shore, "No... I don't mean that... I just want something warm and cozy, not slippery and black" he said with stuttered words.

"Ooooh! I know! I know!"I said out loud. I just saw the light! Lamp squid!"You want to take a bath in melting irons! Awesomesauce!"

"Sounds good... But I'll probably die..." Gaius smiled with worry. This kind of smile just made me nervous from time to time.

Now I'm not sure with my talent in making bath essence anymore, "I hope I have some platinum pieces..." I sighed my heart out.

"What?" He shouted so suddenly. And his face was totally sun squid! He looked happier than ever! I just wanted to feed him fried squid. "What did you just say?"

"Platinum!" I repeated in more high-pitched voice.

"Platinum!" He repeated it with me with more energy. I'm so excited he- just got it! The feeling of the Platinum Essence! Gaius is surprisingly smart. "I love platinum! Let's ask Micah next time!" He grinned at me and grabbed his towel.

I smiled as widely as I could, "alright! I can't wait for our platinum-time!" I felt rather bad for the squids I had released in the bath, it's kind of a hassle to catch them all over again, but as long the costumer happy, "I'll do the ex-sqreme!" I yelled out as loud as I could. Squid and extreme, get it?

Gaius stared at me with his blank eye, "I think it's kind of off..."

"Noted..." I could only bow ninety degree to him. I guess my stand up comedy skill was getting rusted.

He sighed with a very innocent smile, I really like that side of him. "For now I suppose, I'll just enjoy the squid fest right?"

"Re-really? Right here? Now?" I'm so flattered! I always knew that he's such a kind guy... But not this kind. Holy fish king!

He nodded, "I don't have much options have I?", he stared at me waiting for an answer. A few blinks and he chewed his lower lip.

I'm still keeping my best smile and shook my head to him, "Of course not silly!". He seemed to be at loss for a few minutes there I'm really sure, but that's just my wild guess. "for your information, Evelyn enters the female bath just a few seconds ago", I gave him my mackerel look. He always loves my mackerel look because we are _partner in bath_. It sounds so- wrong, but it's true! I always gave him the mackerel look every time Evelyn around here.

"Oh!" He gasped, he looked a bit shock, and for a while he looked like he was losing his soul or maybe he was just thinking something else?"Oh!" he repeated it again, with the same expression, I didn't know we have the replay button? "I'll get in" he bowed thirty degree at me and entered the male bath. "and meet me tomorrow at the Vale River Pia" He waved at me.

"Gaius is really weird yea Shino?" I smiled at Shino. She's been staring at us while standing right beside me, doing stuff called cleaning.

Shino giggled, "Yes he is"

"I think he's not as fiery as yesterday about Evelyn tho..." Sakuya added but her stomach interfered her sentence and started growling like a lion, "Oh... I'm hungry"

"No fish for dinner!" I demanded justice for fishes!

Sakuya was groaning in pain, "Yea yea... Squid sashimi would be good enough..."

"And once again, Pia saves the fishes!" I smiled cheerfully while hugging Shino-san. I wonder what Gaius eats for dinner, melted gold?

**...AIUEO...**

That day wasn't really that hot, of course it's not, even if its summer, we were standing in front of the Vale River! The best mining site for platinum! "Lalala... I'll eat more quid than anyone, squid is eating salmon... Squid is our nemesis... I'll eat squid more than masu salmon~"

"Didn't you just said, Squid eating salmon?" Gaius was asking me with his static funny looking face. He never bores me with his expressions, he really know how to put 100 faces in one conversation. I like that.

"Yea?"

"Then why is salmon eating the squid back?"

"Because...! I'm eating it with salmon..."

"So they're eating each other now?"

"Not really... I mean It's just self-defense" It's totally make-sense right? You see... I'm only singing with logic .

"...?" his face looked so funny, it made me want to feed him more squids!

"Moring!" Micah's cheery greeting was very energizing. I felt so energized I want to eat squid! I think everything just remind me of squid these days.

"Morning..." Gaius's greeting was nothing like Micah's! It's surprisingly... Lover snappery? Because my hearts was going numb just hearing it from afar.

Micah took out the letter Gaius sent to him from his pocket... "It's weird... Gaius's request is... _Help for My Bath Essence_? This too Pia-ish"

Gaius answered vigorously, "yea! It's actually from the two of us... So go get us some platinum please?", his serious face now turned into a weak-pleading-puppy face. I wanted to say something about it, but... No.

"Platinum bath essence?" Micah gave us the weird look. He always does that! Ungh! He didn't even believe in my healthy crunchy bloody bath with tomato! He was such a Turbot!

"Wha-what?" Me and Gaius asked in unison.

"No... It's sounds so like you guys" He giggled in a very weird way. "it's weird enough to see you two together but this quest making it so right... So, how much?"

"Nine" I answered fast and simple.

But Micah just stared with blank smile, maybe he was a little bit confused with the number, "oh o.k..." but he agreed anyway, he even left without any complain.

"Tha... That much?" Gaius was still in shock, shocker than Micah"do you think I should help him...?"

"Bu-but I've already prepared the perfect prize for him! I don't have any for you... and- and-" I answered him with worry in every single of my word. I kind of scared of how Gaius would react. The prize for Gaius... I never ask him about his favorite stuff! I couldn't possibly make platinum udon now... I don't have any Platinum yet! "Wha..."

"No... No... Don't cry..." He trailed his finger on the fin on my head. I could never hate what he just did to me, he really know his stuff. I always weak under his touch. I tried my best to smile, and his worry seemed to have deceased as well. That was so weird, as weird as lamp squid sashimi, I think I've lost the glow in the lamp squid but actually not.

You see... it's so Lamp Squid.

**...AIUEO...**

We ended up chatting nonsense on the Icy Rose Bush while we were waiting for Micah. I prefer the waterfall on the odd valley though. The only annoying thing about the vale river is... because it's snowy, all my fins were growing out of my skin and my legs was already fishily slippery.

"You're a mermaid after all..." He said with another wide smile.

"I hateeeeeee it" It's not like I hate being a mermaid. I mean... I love fishes because I'm a mermaid and I hate squid because I'm a mermaid, so I'm not exactly hate myself as a mermaid. It's just not so convenient in the dry land.

He seemed surprise, too surprise. Like tuna when it met a giant squid, "whayt?" it's the mix of what and why? Gaius is genius!

I could not help myself and laughed a little, "It's hard to walk all the way to the Inn with fish leg..." I just remember something! I didn't brought my teleportation skill scroll.

He nodded like he got everything... I supposed he was. "I could carry you until your legs dry up..." he blushed?

My face felt hot for a moment there, it's very lobstery, "Great!" I answered without giving the suspicious gesture. I'm not going to look at him in the eye. Because his eye was my worst enemy of the year! He only had one eye. But that eye sure deadly enough for me to die in heart attack. "I- uuh... Thanks"

He stared at me for a few second and then we both get lobstery together. "Ye-yeah..." he laughed in awkwardness. It's totally normal right? Nothing lover-snappery around here right?

"Nine platinum pieces!" Micah voice was echoing from afar, breaking our awkwardness. I was hurriedly trying to stand and my slippery tail tripping my off.

Luckily, Gaius held me with one of his hand behind my back, he vigilantly fixing my position. It's a very cheery salmon situation. "Careful now..." he whispered softly. It's so weird. he made me started to hiss again.

I nod in short reply. Micah handed me a bunch of platinum pieces and smiled, I used to go crazy whenever I saw his smile, but lately? No. "Thank you... here are the payment!" I just gave him nine greenifiers and hide my face behind the platinum pieces. I'm so not letting Gaius stealing a glance at my face. I'm sure it was a mess.

Micah unexpectedly satisfied with it, "thank you very much! Marian always stealing my greenifiers to make medicine for Collette so I'm really running out of supply"

"Ummm..." I nodded a little.

Gaius laughed again, "now we get what we want and he get his, right Pia?" he patted my head, and before he lost the contact between my hair and his fingers he did it again, trailing his fingers on my fin again. It's always felt so right. Gaius was such a sinful man.

"hieee..." I hissed while taking a few step back

Micah giggled for the hundredth time i did that and left the two of us alone while teleporting himself back to the Sharance tree. "See you guys"

When I'm busy thinking about the reason I was hissing, I suddenly felt the cold air brushing my fins.

Gaius slipped one of his arms behind my back and another on my fish leg, he lifted me up like I'm just a little rag doll. "Now I'll take you home in a flash..." Gaius chuckled at me. I felt like hissing again. I just clueless with this stuff you know, I never knew what the right word to say when he was around or even in the bath.

"Huh?" he said he's going to take me home in a flash right? "Why are we running? Why don't you just use the teleportation skill?"

"So your legs will dry up before you get home..." He said with a little bit of panting in the middle of his words.

"But I'm heavy..." I should thinking about something else! His panting would only haunt me in my sleep and that's not a good thing! Oh God of Tuna please saves me!

"That's what you think..." Gaius smiled again. He smiled too much today! He wouldn't have any left for tomorrow.

My legs were already dry when we left the Vale River and thanks to that my human legs was back again, but Gaius still carrying me until we arrived in front of the Inn. "Here you go..." he cautiously letting me off of his hold, I could smelled the hot irons from his body. It's surprisingly contagious, I don't want to let go. But that's not possible.

"I'll go and prepare the bath essence!" I mumbled while stealing a glance at him. "Come back before 10 PM?"

"O.k you'll be waiting for me, right?" he answered with his sweet low toned voice. Why was he doing it again? I never knew he could speak to somebody else except Evelyn like that.

"Yeah" I nodded, I really-really just want to run away, But I know I have to thank him for carrying me home... I mean it's the proper manner right? Shino always taught me that, "Th-thank you... Ung..."

"Your welcome" there's so many things that were missing. Before I realized he had drawn his face closer to mine. I kind of get it but at the same time I'm not. I just didn't know what he wanted or what I wanted and we bumped our nose along with our forehead together. With many awkwardness left between us I hurriedly stole a kiss on his forehead. The heat on my lips was burning. His face was burning. My head was an empty can.

While I'm busy thinking what I should say next, he took his revenge. Damn my weak spot. "I know you'll like that..." He chuckled over my ear.

**...**END**...**

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><p><strong>A.N:<strong> I know... Grammar errors everywhere... I'm not good with this type of typing...

But I just love how idiot Pia and Gaius are... Pia's love scenes aren't as romantic as other characters'... So I'm not really that satisfied if Micah end up with Pia... But I still love her and marry her anyway... Help me with your critique~ or review


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